Through it all

We're going to a wedding today. I had to pop out to make a last-minute, tummy slimming, leg warming undergarment purchase. Very mundane. I had left my baby behind, at home with her dad. I knew the two of them would be just fine. The sun was shining and it was early. I turned the pop music up loud.

In a world that seems to get colder and colder

Don't you worry 'cause

My love will only get stronger and stronger

'Cause I, I'm gonna love you gonna hold you through it all

I, I'm gonna love you gonna never let you fall

Through it all

When you're down and out

Losing dignity

Don't let go of me (hold on)

Surely this is a brighter day right in front of me (hold on)

If you really looked inside

You would finally realise

You don't have to cry (no more)

All you have to do is see

That you can believe in me

And I will never leave

'Cause I, I'm gonna love you gonna hold you through it all

I, I'm gonna love you gonna never let you fall

Through it all

And then (it's your fault Alicia Keys), the world went a bit wobbly. I've struggled with this love. Sometimes I think it isn't there. That I haven't bonded with Baby Berry. If I love her, why this awful empty feeling when she cries? Why this anxious worry? This isn't the feeling I call "love", that makes me want to push my body against my mate, that reassures and buoys me up.

But as the world wobbled all wet with tears, I made a baby step towards understanding mother love - fierce, protective, fraught... And it's definitely there.