Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Technicolour


As a self-confessed spoilt only child, I often make demands on my poor parents. I'd been harassing them about a sad and droopy bougainvillea that looked ready to shuffle into the compost bin. They seemed determined to keep abusing it. Then I had a bad day involving a melted breast pump, and my dad turned up with the sorry specimen. A new pot, plenty of sunshine, and it's laden with these heavy technicolour pompoms. We often pop out onto the balcony just to gaze at it.

Sunday, 27 June 2010

Ooh ooh ooh!


The Berry has breastfeeding sorted out (don't ask us about the bottle, that can be another story). While it feels like just a moment ago we were trying to perfect our latch and suck, let alone the logistics of under-muslin public feeds, she now has the most adorable routine, especially in the morning when she's hungry and seems to have just remembered the world exists... Her little feet kick, her eyes light up, her little mouth makes fishy-gulps and her head bobs as she lunges towards breakfast. Then her fingers grasp, her eyes close...


It's singleminded contentment.



Tuesday, 22 June 2010

A special visit



We flew to Melbourne on the weekend to visit The Berry's family on Mr B's side, her "Duffy" and "Pop". And extra-specially, her "Nuffy" - that's great-grandmother to you. The Berry gets her middle name from Nuff, she is so loved by her grandsons and I felt very proud to be able to share this moment. Nuff has her good and bad days (don't we all?), but was sharp as could be when we visited, and declared The Berry "absolutely gorgeous". Agreed.


Monday, 14 June 2010

Wet but wonderful


The rain, the rain... It shows how engaged I am with the outside world that it didn't seem crazy to walk up to Redfern with The Berry, The Boutz and Mr B. It was wet. But wonderful. Took The Berry in her Hug-a-bub sling and she slept the whole time as we ate brekkie at a tiny chilly outside table, with the dog huddling under our knees, doing a very good job of looking pathetic:

I had gingerbread hotcakes with pear, they were yummy, but could have been a bit lighter? I know gingerbread's supposed to be kinda fudgy, but... I'm taking inspiration to maybe try something similar but, well, better.


They came from Baffi & Mo, here's a pic taken in sunnier weather, nicked from Pia Jane Bijkerk (proof that the cafe is super-cool)



Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Remember when a date with Tom Cruise was tempting...

Love a lamb roast - it's one of the few appealing cuts of organic meat that Mr B can source from the supermarket. There's always an awkward moment when he returns from the outside world, my cave man with his kill, and I ask whether the woolly mammoth had a nice life.

I've been thinking that tempting some of our footloose and fancy free friends with a hot midday meal might be a good way to socialise - I'll only serve meals I can make fairly well in advance, and The Berry can snooze in her own bed while we chomp and chat. Our first attempt, I must say, was a great success. We invited just one couple, an easy-going pair, and we had the roast with cauliflower cheese, beans and polenta.

A partial overhead of the spread - I'm a bit sheepish about taking photos when we have company...

Super fresh and delicious cauli, covered with cheesy sauce, reminds me of my childhood.



The lamb roasted on a bed of onion, garlic, lemon and rosemary. We gobbled up the gooey roast garlic cloves that turn to sweet delicious morsels in the oven. Pan juices were also whipped into one intense gravy with a splosh of red wine...


The little lamby, studded with garlic and home-grown rosemary. Thank you, lamby.

Tony the pony

Meet our new family member, Tony. He was knitted with much, much love by one of The Berry's many clever Aunties, who had never knitted before his creation. He is A-Mazing.



Friday, 4 June 2010

Through it all

We're going to a wedding today. I had to pop out to make a last-minute, tummy slimming, leg warming undergarment purchase. Very mundane. I had left my baby behind, at home with her dad. I knew the two of them would be just fine. The sun was shining and it was early. I turned the pop music up loud.


In a world that seems to get colder and colder
Don't you worry 'cause
My love will only get stronger and stronger

'Cause I, I'm gonna love you gonna hold you through it all
I, I'm gonna love you gonna never let you fall
Through it all

When you're down and out
Losing dignity
Don't let go of me (hold on)
Surely this is a brighter day right in front of me (hold on)
If you really looked inside
You would finally realise
You don't have to cry (no more)
All you have to do is see
That you can believe in me
And I will never leave

'Cause I, I'm gonna love you gonna hold you through it all
I, I'm gonna love you gonna never let you fall
Through it all

And then (it's your fault Alicia Keys), the world went a bit wobbly. I've struggled with this love. Sometimes I think it isn't there. That I haven't bonded with Baby Berry. If I love her, why this awful empty feeling when she cries? Why this anxious worry? This isn't the feeling I call "love", that makes me want to push my body against my mate, that reassures and buoys me up.

But as the world wobbled all wet with tears, I made a baby step towards understanding mother love - fierce, protective, fraught... And it's definitely there.